so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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