He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
