brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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