Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize