Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
