she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
