feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
