no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
