I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
