After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
