dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
