if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
