i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
