I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
