That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
