she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
