that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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