You work out of a Hotel?
no, he came in my armpit
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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