First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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