Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
