peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
now i know why i became what i already was.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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