i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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