so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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