I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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