Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
