also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
