The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
