Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
