HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
