woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
