Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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