uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize