I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
