I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize