I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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