??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
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wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
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Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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