she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
