): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
