Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
