I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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