what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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