Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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