When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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