woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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