they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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