Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
