Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize