Your face is a jimmy john
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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