Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If I die, sorry about rent.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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