I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
God, I missed his penis.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
