9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
