Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
