im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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