Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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