Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
