The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
