Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
