id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
