the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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