forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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