I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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