I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
