Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(705): View more from Ontario

and you said cock pushups were impossible

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(210): View more from Texas

I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.

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(434): View more from Virginia

A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!

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(937): View more from Ohio

They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?

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