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• (310): View more from California

  tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (937): View more from Ohio

  she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  You were.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (316): View more from Kansas

  At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's a mixed blessing.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure

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