and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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