I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
