Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize