he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
