What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize