You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
what day is it and did you see me today?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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