If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
