So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize