R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
