the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
